Standing on the dock isn’t easy; neither is standing on the deck that is sailing away from you, leaving you behind. Fear and anxiety fills every part of your being as you say farewell to those who have stolen a part of your heart. The only comfort is the hand whose fingers intertwine with yours- the only memory that He who goes with you will not leave you alone, even in the darkest of times.
Yet sometimes we have to leave behind something great, so that we can walk into something better.
Sisterhood really is a rare gift of nature. It is a bizarre friendship that encases all your emotions in a spiral that envelops you in a place of safety, security and love. It is rare, especially for me having grown up with brothers, that friends can become your sisters as if so naturally.
I stand behind then on the dock, tears piercing my eyes. The fear of walking the next part of this life without them scares me. It is terrifying letting go of the daughters that have opened a part of your heart so gently. After a journey of learning to trust again, it is mentally chaotic and seemingly unnatural to walk away from the ones who have defined sisterhood for you.
I look up and see them standing with arms around one another, and wish for a moment I was there in that embrace. I bite my lip as I feel the uncontrollable tremor begin to quake the corners of my mouth. It will be ok I tell myself. The ocean that they sail into will deliver them to nations all around the world, communities that remain foreign to me.
Yet one hope I do hold dear is the chance that one day, when the air is fresh, I just might see them again and be reunited with the shard of my glass heart that they carry.
I imagine one day when I shine a light over the world I will see the glimmer of my dispersed heart reflecting the light everywhere.
A lighthouse, giving people hope that someone, somewhere cares.
I put my hand up to wave, but as if only a whisper, they are gone. As If only a memory trapped in my mind, the waves crash over where they once stood and loneliness fills my heart. All would be forgotten if it weren’t for the gentle tug at my wrist that reminds me that I do not walk alone, but rather He who goes with me, gives me a chance to remember that love these girls have left right here in my heart.
These angels, were they only a memory- characters in my imagination?
No. They are warrior daughters of the King we dance to, and the imprint they have left on my heart gives me the courage to turn and walk into eternity and the kingdom that awaits me.
As I watch the sun go down over the ocean that has taken them, I know and trust, that when I watch the sun go down in my world, it will always rise again in theirs.
To Abigail, Shona, Stephanie & Stephanie, this one’s for you.