Wow, what an incredible two months it has been since I last shared on here! You know that saying “Just around the corner,” where all of a sudden everything changes? I’ve discovered it to be so true in my life right now, especially when you cry out to Jesus – but I’ll get to that. There’s something else I want to talk about first.
I’ve been remembering a lot lately, the passages in the New Testament of the Bible, where Jesus heals the blind (see; Matthew 9:30, Mark 8:22, Mark 10:52; Luke 18:35, John 9:6). I was talking on Sunday with a good friend about this, wondering why Jesus didn’t just tell them all to see immediately. Why did he question some of them about why they wanted to see? Isn’t it obvious? Why Lord did you rub mud on one and spit on another? As I prayed, asking Holy Spirit to teach me, I didn’t receive any particular answer. Except that a sense perhaps, that for each of them, that’s exactly what they needed.
Perhaps Jesus was doing something more than just physical. Perhaps he was speaking and healing more often their souls than just their physical sight. The ability to see is fairly fundamental in life – and to those that learn to activate their other senses, by necessity not choice – I salute you! But what if it was about something more? Like, the ability to see perspective in your own life, to understand that Jesus really was the Messiah, to have an absolute understanding of the truth and to view the correlation of what you can now see in perspective that the scriptures from the old testament give us?
So I asked the Father, “How would you heal me if I had no sight?” I think he would ask me outright – Why do you want to see Katie?
In my last post, I shared how I felt everything had come crashing down. I was lonely, and I was struggling, but through it all, despite the darkness, the Holy Spirit felt close. It’s funny that in those times that you need him most, He is always there. And I learnt to say, in confidence and in truth, Father when I have nothing of value in this world left, I can still say, that you are all I need. You are enough.
Before that, I was already blind to what the Father was doing. I was just going along, asking for more sight, without the means to get it it yet, or the maturity to receive it. Then Jesus comes along and rubs mud across my eyes. Why? I already can’t see, what the point of this weird act? Why make the horizon murkier? But then in one swift motion, He wipes it all away and tells me to open my eyes.
Instantly, I understood what the Father was doing. Each of us in on a journey with the Spirit. Some of us will miss out on what the Father wants to lead us into because we are happy in the fortress we build for ourselves. Although it is comfortable, and may be filled with everything we consider important, when the day of the Lord comes, it will all crumble into the sea. And like that guy who wrote Ecclesiastics repetitively drills into us – it’s meaningless.
Let me challenge you – It is better to have nothing in the Kingdom on Heaven, than to have everything in the world.
It is so much better to trust Jesus, because as I have learnt, He is all that you need. There is so much reward and blessing that overflows when you chose him daily.
Overnight my work environment changed, my mental health improved, I saw my friends in more meaningful ways again and I moved back in with my parents – which is almost another story for another blog – and I am travelling again – all things that are important to me.
But what’s more important to me now that I can “see”, is that I chose Jesus on a daily basis to be the centre of my life. Because in him we have all we need. So next time I ask Father, “Can I see what you are doing”, I will remain confident in my spiritual blindness, because I trust and have confidence that in my faith in Him, I have everything I need. And in God’s perfect timing, when it is time for Spirit to open my eyes, he will wipe away the mud and reveal to me everything that I need to know. Because He is Good.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, What you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in bards, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them – are you not much more valuable than they?” – Matt6:25
I do not know what is around the next corner. I may be here, or married, or homeless, or well fed. I chose today, to be content and live right here, where I am, trusting in the fullness of God. Because in the right timing, God will provide for you, what you need to fight the next battle, or climb the next mountain, or survive the next valley.
“Therefore, as Gods chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another – Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. And over all these things, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” – Col3:12-14